


PEN1535 Touching Eachother

by zzzzzzzo



Series: penis is a funny word [2]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Kinda, M/M, Sexual Humor, Smut, They bang in this, barely any of it is porn tbh, it's fun and cute, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 11:58:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5539082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzzzzzzo/pseuds/zzzzzzzo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He laughs a little, and that sends warmth across your damp and hardened flesh. You shiver. Finally, finally, he gains enough confidence to skim his fingers over your crotch, fumble with your fly, tug your jeans down just enough that your boxers covered erection may be freed.</p><p>“RELEASE THE KRACKEN!!” John proclaims. You crack up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	PEN1535 Touching Eachother

**Author's Note:**

  * For [felineFan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/felineFan/gifts).



> there you go quinn, actual porn. kind of. haha, nah, this was fun. enjoy!! :D

A paper airplane hits you in the back of the head. You curse.

“The fuck, John?” You whip around to face him. Not gonna lie, the annoyance is probably worth spinning around sassily in the spinny chair. You will never get tired of that. You need to get one for yourself. Right now, though, you're in a hotel, with your ridiculous boyfriend. The two of you have been dating for only a few months now, and after ages of planning you worked out a schedule to see each other where you met at a hotel halfway between your respective locations. It's been amazing, except for him ceaselessly working to irritate you in any way possible.

John grins at you. He's lying on his stomach, bouncing lightly on the hotel bed. He looks a little nervous, much as he'd like that to go over your head. The telltale sign of his thumbs twiddling at a mile a minute clues you in on it. Even with how infrequently you see each other, you pick up on body cues quite quickly when you think someone is worthy of paying attention to.

“Read it, dude!” he chirps. Yeah, he's probably dying inside as he speaks. You don't let on you notice though. Rather, you prefer a subtle approach, with small things to ease him if you can.

Not much to be done about it now, though. You decide to just, you know, read it. You unfold the airplane skeptically.

_i wanna touch your pen15._

“...Is this how you mean to seduce me?”

“Well, yeah.”

Christ. Okay. Besides a few Skype calls late at night, with the doors locked, the two of you have never done anything in this territory. This is definitely not how you would picture your first time going. A small part of your micromanaging soul wants to refuse, to construe the perfect romantic scheme to precede your lovemaking. You tell it to fuck off. Experience has taught you that it really is the imperfect things that are truly beautiful and loving and stick deep with you forever. Besides, that finickiness has fucked up enough relationships for you that you avoid it like the plague.

“...Well, alright then.”

“Wait what.” John looks completely nonplussed by your response.  
“Okay.” You shrug, keeping it casual, no big deal. “Go for it.”

“..Wow, okay. Um. I had not planned this far ahead.” John looks so utterly _stumped_ that you can't help but crack the fuck up. “Hey!”

“You are so.. fucking.. _ridiculous!”_ you snort, get up from your book at last and kneel on the floor by the bed so you're nose to nose to him. He blinks at you. “Hi there.”

“Hey Karkat.”  
“Do you actually want to, or was the temptation to reference my traumatic childhood simply too great to resist?”

“Honestly? A little bit of both.”

“How sweet.” Deadpan. John smiles tentatively at you. You look steadily back. It's embarrassing, but in the end, the two of you really are just two awkward virgins on equal footing here. Okay, you did touch a butt once, but we do not speak of that.

“Soooo... Then?” John has apparently lost the ability to complete his sentences.

You shrug, resting your head on arms crossed on the edge of the bed and closing your eyes lazily. “Fuck, man, I don't see why not. We're eighteen, have been dating for months, and are alone in a hotel room with an empty evening ahead of us. It would be weird if we _didn't_ fuck.”

John mutters something you can't quite make out.

“What?”  
“I said.” He covers his face with his crossed arms. His ears are turning a little red. “Um. Make love. Not- not fuck. I don't. Yeah.”

“..Oh.” Well, shit, he just nailed you right in the softest, hidden caverns of your heart. “Um. Wow. That was. Really fucking cheesy.”

“Shut uuuup.”

“Like, super cheesy.”

“Stoooop.” He covers his ears, mortified.

“Like, extremely aged cheddar cheesy.”

“I know, okay!! It was cheesy and dumb, and _I'm_ cheesy and dumb, and you're the one who's _supposed_ to say crap like that so now I look stupid.”

“Yeah, you really do.”

“Aren't you supposed to be helpful or something. I think that would be great right now, if you had one of your rare 'not being a total _ass_ ' moments.”

“Hmmm. Maybe later.” He lifts his head a teeny bit to glare. You kiss his nose, give your stupid looking half smile that makes your face look like a damn lemon. “I love you too.”

“I am not so sure if I love you in this moment.”

“So much for you getting a piece of this ass, then.”

John cracks a tiny smile. “Okay, maybe I love you. Just a little bit.” He leans in a little to meet you when you kiss him. Nice. You carefully place your hands on his, rub your thumb on the knuckles to warm his cool fingers. John hums a little bit, slips his tongue in.

“Moving fast, aren't we?” you murmur, completely okay with it.

“As if I'm the one doing that man. You're touching my hands. _Groping_ me, Karkat.”

“I am so sorry for feeling you up, then. Would you please point on the doll to where I touched you?”

Note: This is all said between steadily deepening kisses. You and John are the masters of multitasking.

“How about I use _this_ doll--” he tickles that sensitive spot behind your right ear, “to demonstrate where I wanna be touched?”

“Shit. That was smooth as fuck.”

“Riiight? I should write that one down.”

“Or you could just, you know, put that theory into practice.”

“Dude, that was smooth too! Hold on.”

John actually gets up and grabs a hotel provided pen and pad of paper to scrawl out your dumb come hither lines. Why the hell do you want to bang this guy again?

While he's standing up and facing away, you get a look at that butt. Oh yeah. That's why.

John jumps back into his previous position, making the bed creak and bounce like mad. “Alright! Where were we?”

“Not sure. I'm pretty sure my boner immigrated to the other side of the earth the moment you deemed getting up and leaving me a reasonable course of action.”

“Aww, baby, did I hurt little friend's feelings?”

“...Did you just call my penis 'little friend?'”

“That I did.”

“You know what, I changed my mind, we can save this whole sex thing for a million years from now, you know, after my secondhand mortification at your sheer stupidity has warn off.”

“Karkat.”

“What.”

“Kaaaaarkaaaaaat.”

_“_ _What?”_

“Can we make out some more, maybe? I like doing that.”

“Do you promise to not do anything else idiotic and/or irritating?”

“Oh, jeez.” John winces. “That's a tall order.”

“You're an idiot,” you say, and kiss him more. Yes, you know. You're weak.

Your legs start to cramp up (from sitting on the floor, pervert). You stand up, trying to do that romantic thing of keeping your lips locked all the while and tugging John along with your movements. It doesn't go over well. John ends up falling on the floor, squealing in pain, a moment of wondering if you should call an ambulance, a moment of worry you'll be kicked out of the hotel, and eventually, miraculously, you manage to get both your asses on the bed, lying sideways and facing each other. John can't seem to stop laughing, quiet and breathy. Almost a gentle wheeze. After a good minute of waiting for him to calm down a little bit so you can resume making out, you ask what's so goddamn funny.

“Nothing. I'm just happy, I guess. I dunno.”

Welp. Yeah, you're smitten with this halfwit.

You finally kiss some more, and at this point you're wondering if the two of you will actually get it on tonight, or ever, as the two of you can't seem to keep from being distracted from even something as simple and primal as sex. You're fine with this, in any case, just laying side by side and kissing continuously and wriggling closer, breath mixing and warmth and not a care in the world and. Wait. In your journey to cuddle him, you have encountered a.. 'little friend.' John squeaks when your knee bumps it.

“Well. Hi there.” Maybe this flight will stay on schedule then! Fine. Great. Awesome. Good.

“Um. Sorry about that?”  
“Why? It's kind of the point.” You roll your eyes at John, press your knee between his calves. His breath stutters.

“Uh-um. Isn't there supposed to be like, some kind of thing of like, working your way down slowly or.” His breath jerks when you roll your knee against the lump. “Or. Oh shit, I need my notes on this.”

“John, you're doing a me; and no, that isn't a sexy pun. Don't over think it.” You skim a kiss against the underside of his jaw, rough with 5 o'clock shadow, taking a break from the pants play for a moment. “Relaaaax.”  
John giggles, a bit too high-pitched. “Your tongue tickles.”

“Oh, does it now?” John picks up on the mischievousness a bit too late to prevent you blowing a raspberry on his neck. His squeal rises into a small shriek and he wriggles away from you, sitting up and snatching a pillow to raise threateningly. You remain lying down, looking at him sideways. “Seriously, John. It's okay if you don't want to.”

“Ughhhh!!” John squirms, whaps you lightly with the pillow. You swat at it. “It's just. Man, you're like, _good_ at that, and even now, you're being all serious and smooth and caring and. Jeez. It's so _weird_.”

“Thanks?”

“Haha.” John's voice is deadpan, but he can't help but smile a little. “But. Like. I dunno. I kinda sent that as a joke, and while I was hoping to do this at some point, I was assuming you'd get annoyed and we'd have a pillow fight so my brain is still catching up with the fact that this is a possibility that is like, actually happening, as in, right now.”

“I have to admit, I was expecting me to react that way too.” John snorts. “But, seriously, it's fine either-”

“Stop saying 'seriously.' It makes this too.. Serious.”

“Okayyyyy... Then, jokingly. Insincerely. I can get the pocket thesaurus out of my suitcase if you want. The point is, it's really okay.”

“Yeah. Yeah. But.. I think I do, like, really want to. Like, tonight.”

“Oh, okay. Sweet.”

“But, um. Can I touch you first?”

You raise your eyebrows. “I mean, this is more of a mutual thing, so..”  
“I know, but I mean like, can I _touch_ touch you first. Like, in the no-no zone.”

Christ. “...Alright. As long as you swear to never, ever, _ever_ even fucking consider saying 'no-no zone' in my presence again. Or not in my presence either, come to think of it.”

“Honestly? I'm not sure if it's worth it,” John quips, but his lidded gaze is already drifting to your crotch.

“Oh, fuck off.” That is what you try to say, but you are slightly derailed when John reaches out bluntly and squeezes your dick. “Um. What the fuck? ..You do know that's not the best strategy, right?”

John snorts. “Well, duh. Just, you know, checking if it's there. Can you lie on your back?” You reluctantly oblige this total dork, and he crouches at your side, just looking at you. You're starting to feel like an idiot, lying there with your arms at your side, when he starts to poke and prod at you. It's not _unsexy_ how he does it or anything. His touches and rubs are just the right amount of pressure, and in some good spots. Still, it does make you feel a little bit like a scientific specimen on the examination table.

Well, until he leans down to tongue your nipple, your shirt long since discarded. _That_ sure doesn't remind you of a newly discovered species. In fact, you neglect to think much at all then. You bite back a small gasp, fists clenching in the sheets at your sides. You can _feel_ his smile as he tugs your bud with his oversized teeth. “Shit..” you almost hiss the word, tensing a little on the exhale. He sucks, and your body slumps a little with a broken off sigh. Crap. Right. And he says _you're_ good at this. Wow.

“Is it.. okay?” he asks softly. You wish you could see his face, to check for either smug certainty or shy hesitation. It's good you can't, as either would melt your heart.

“Um. Yeah. It's. Good. Yes. Quite.”

He laughs a little, and that sends warmth across your damp and hardened flesh. You shiver. Finally, _finally_ , he gains enough confidence to skim his fingers over your crotch, fumble with your fly, tug your jeans down just enough that your boxers covered erection may be freed.

“RELEASE THE KRACKEN!!” John proclaims. You crack up.

“Fuck you,” you wheeze.

“Hahaha, oh man, Karkat. _Karkat_.”

“No, seriously, _fuck you._ ”

“That was so funny Karkat.”

“I _hate_ you.”

“I love you.”

He kisses your chin despite your struggles. Your writhing is quickly stopped when his fingers harvest your dick through that slit boxers have. He pulls back to look at it.

“Hmmmm..”

“Can you _please_ not just stare at it. I would rather not feel judged in this moment.”  
“Pfft, sorry. Don't worry dude, you're thicker I think. But _I'm_ longer. Haha.”

“Oh, just shaddap.”

“What if I say no?” His eyes twinkle playfully. You glare at him.

“Then I guess I'll have to put your mouth to better use.” You speak low and flat. You can see the humor leave his eyes, overtaken by renewed lust. Ha. He gulps, and his own register becomes a little rough.

“I think I can manage that.” John lowers his eyes hastily, begins to stroke your cock with renewed intensity for the sake of evading eye contact. Ffffuck, that's nice. “Umm... You don't have any diseases, right?” He's already lowering his head as he speaks, as if the answer doesn't especially matter anyway.

“Clean.”

The words are barely out of your mouth before he starts to lick you. And. Whoa.

You think your heart stops for a moment, and you black out. The next moment you are aware, John is giving you an annoyed looked, spunk on his hair and face. “Dude. Ew. Too soon, much?”

“Well, _excuuuuse me,_ _princess!”_ Referencing a meme moments after an orgasm. Welcome to Karkat Vantas' afterglow, everyone. Children and the elderly not allowed.

John, meanwhile, is staring at you in disbelief, his situation momentarily forgotten. “Did. Did you just.”

“Why yes, I did.”

“... _I love you so fucking much.”_

You smile at him, sit up and stretch, crack your neck. “Well, I guess it's your turn then!”

“Oh.” John reddens. Like, a _lot_. “Ummm.. About that.”

“Jesus Christ, what the fuck is it now?”

“I, uh, already came.” John's face is practically boiling, and he seems very fixated in the pattern on the wallpaper behind you. “Like, from your. From your knee.”

“...Seriously?”

“I told you not to use that word, but, yes.”

“...Pfffft.”

Someone in a neighboring room comes by to complain about the noise a few minutes later. You can't imagine what they were expecting, but it probably wasn't a guy still biting back laughter even as he apologizes, accompanied by an awkward tall man with a suspicious stain in his pants and his face soaking wet from a hasty washing.


End file.
